Teagirl: The Animated Series Episode 2

Characters
Teagirl/Fearn Sobers– The heroine
Crazy Q – Evil Coke Fiend
Fizzy and Sparkling – Crazy Q’s Henchmen
Matt – Normal guy just there to provide substinence to Fearn’s non-hero life.
OreoGuy/Norman Normalson – Gnome loving weirdo
Guard – A guard. He fails.
Bouncer – Not the sucky Square game
Richchap – Lolhedies
BanjoClerk – He sells banjos
Joe – Shida fancies her
Mr Sensei– The teacher
Mayor Type Guy – The mayor type guy
Bodyguard – He guards bodies.
Narrator – He narrates ors.

Narrator: Evening lights shine brightly in Britland City’s Amusement District, but there’s nothing amusing about what’s happening down at the Happy-as-Bogs Casino, for a robbery is taking place, orchestrated by noone other than that fiend with a sugar rush of evil, Crazy Q!
Crazy Q: Ah yes! With all these wondrous cash, I’ll be able to fund my research into making everything coke flavoured! Hey lackeys, how about this one? Coke flavoured boogers!
Fizzy: Hehe, brilliant idea, boss.
Sparkling: You’re like the Hideo Kojima of Crime, but without the lengthy cutscenes.
Richchap: Yeah you’re awesomesauce!
Crazy Q: Bugger off, Richcrap!
Crazy Q hits Richchap with a coke flavoured trout
Guard 1: You give that cash back before I turn your head into a hoopla set.
Crazy Q: You think you have a chance at beating me? Well have a free SPIN!
Spins Guard 1 around and flings him through the ceiling
Crazy Q: Excellent! All this cash, chaos and cheesy puns, and Teagirl is powerless to stop me!

Go outside where Teagirl is arguing with the bouncer
Teagirl: Come on, I have to stop the horrendous crime in progress!
Bouncer: I’m sorry but I can’t let you in if you’re under 21.
Teagirl: But that guy is stealing all the money in there!
Bouncer: Sorry. Rules are rules.
Teagirl: So you’re saying a guy stealing money is allowed.
Bouncer: Well, we are a casino.
Teagirl: Good point.

Teagirl theme goes here. Probably at least better than the last.

Narrator:Ever the vigilant mistress of tea and justice, Teagirl has stood up to any task that’s been thrown at her, be it burglars…
Teagirl punches a burglar
Narrator: Gangsters….
Teagirl punches a gangster
Narrator: Hippies…
Teagirl punches a hippy
Narrator: Or dickheads.
Sketche: My. Name. Is. Sketche.
Teagirl punches Sketche
Narrator: But now, Teagirl is about to face her toughest challenge yet: Her GCSEs.

Matt: Oh man, I am so not looking forward to this English exam. I am totally unprepared.
Fearn: You serious? I revised so hard I even reverted to my original British accent. What did you do during that time?
Matt: I was…busy…
Cut to Kenny watching Digimon on Youtube
Fearn: Well I hope you’ll learn in future to pay attention to your studies and not get distra-HOMYGOD IT’S JOE! Now comes the time where I act all head-over-heels and goofy!
Fearn goes all head-over-heels and goofy as Joe walks by
Fearn: Gurrrr…Hi Joe. :3
Joe: Sukanut.
Fearn: Geehee… (snaps out of goofy mode) Ok, where was I? Oh yeah. This’ll be a piece of cake. Hmm?
Fearn sees the Teasignal
Fearn: The teasignal! I better…
Mr Sensei: Miss Sobers, I hope you’re not planning on going anywhere, the examination is about to start.
Fearn: Oh…oh…right…hrmn <=(

Meanwhile over at Mayor Type Guy’s Town Hall Type Place...
Bodyguard: Erm…I don’t think she’s responding.
MTG: Hmm, well we better try the Tea Text Messaging Service.

Back in the exam room, Fearn’s mulling over a question with anxiousness
Fearn: Okay, I need to finish this as quickly as possible so I can stop the crime. But…if I rush it then I’ll get a low score and ruin my reputation as a brain queen.
Fearn’s mobile beeps, the txt reads:
TGRL SAV US CRZQ IS RBBN TEH BNJO MPRM  HRYUP PLZ K THX BI
Fearn: The banjo emporium?
Mr Sensei: Ahem. Test conditions, Miss Sobers. Mobile Phones off, please.
Fearn: *sigh* Yes, Mr Sensei, sir.

MTG: Gosh darnit! Why hasn’t Teagirl showed up yet?
Bodyguard: Well it is the exam season, maybe she’s doing her GCSEs.
MTG: Oh, that’s rich. Superheroes taking exams. That’s about as feasible as a Texan guy being the mayor of a British city.
Bodyguard: So what are you then?
MTG: I’m Texas-Canadian.
Bodyguard: Erm…ok sure… Erm, might I recommend we acquire the assistance of a temporary superhero until Teagirl is able to help us.
MTG: Who’d ya have in mind?

A phone rings in a gnome filled garden:
Norman (silhouetted): Hello? What’s that? Trouble? I’ll be right there!


At the Banjo Emporium
BanjoClerk (panicking): WHAT DO YOU WANT ME TO DO!?
Crazy Q: I want you… to eat this banjo!
BanjoClerk: Erm…but I don’t think you ca-
Crazy Q: EAT IT!
BanjoClerk: Er…okay.
BanjoClerk takes a bite out of the banjo
CrazyQ: Tell me, what does this taste like?
BanjoClerk: Erm…like coke?
CrazyQ: SUCCESS! That means my Cokerlater 20X6 works like a dream! With this device, I can make anything taste of Coke! Sandwiches! Fondant fancies! This barely used Eyetoy! Everything will taste like my precious Coke! And even Diet Coke! BWAHAHAHA!
Oreoguy:  Diet Coke, you say? More like Diet Cock…with Lemon…party.
CrazyQ: Ok…who the crap are you?
Oreoguy: I am…OREOGUY!
CrazyQ: Dude wtf? Where’s Teagirl?

Cut to Fearn, still in the exam room
Fearn: Okay. Fill in the blanks. “On the hot summer’s blank, blank likes to blank violently to orc blank…” Tricky one…

Back to the Banjo Place
Oreoguy: I will vanquish you with the mighty power of crispy, creamy Oreos.
CrazyQ: Oreos taste like crap.
Oreoguy: Yeah I know. I mostly just lick the inside and chuck the rest out.
CrazyQ: Do you even have any superhero experience?
Oreoguy: Well, there was that time I defeated GenericFlashMakingBoy.

Flashback
GenericFlashMakingBoy: Hey everybody, who wants to join my Reel Big Fish Mario Sprite collab?
Oreoguy: You FIEND!
Oreoguy throws an Oreo at GenericFlashMakingBoy
GenericFlashMakingBoy: OMG! I’M ALLERGIC TO COCOA!
He dies in some undecided way
Oreoguy: Oh sure, if you can call it that.
/Flashback

CrazyQ: Rrrrrrrright. Anyhoo, I’ve grown bored with you. Fizzy! Sparkling! Take him out!

Back at school
Mr Sensei: Alright. Time’s up. Pencils down. The exam is over, you may leave.
Fearn: Thank GOD!
Mr Sensei: Wait a moment, Miss Sobers.
Fearn: Oh, FFS! WHAT?! >=U
Mr Sensei: You forgot your backpack.
Fearn: Oh…alright. Thanks. ^_^
Mr Sensei: Don’t forget your Mexican Barbie.
Fearn: O_O
Fearn rushes off to an empty corridor. Insert pre-made sexy transformation sequence here.

Back at the Banjo store, Oreoguy has beaten up the two lackeys.
CrazyQ: Ok, you’re strong. Or you smell really bad. I dunno, I wasn’t really paying attention. I’ve been mostly back here shaking up my ROCKET PEPSIS!
Oreoguy: Uhoh…
Rocket pepsis smack into Oreoguy. He gets up to find his Oreos are all soggy.
Oreoguy: MY OREOS! NOOOOOOOOOOO!
CrazyQ: AHAHAHAHA! Now you are powerless to stop me and my Cokerlater 20X6! BWAHAHA!
Teagirl: So you like Coke, ey?
CrazyQ: What?
Teagirl: Then how about a Caffeine KICK!
CrazyQ: Oof!
Oreoguy: Alright, nice kick!
Teagirl: Who the heck is that guy?
CrazyQ: Iuno, some fag.
Oreoguy: I resent that comment! I am a firm non-smoker!
Teagirl: *sigh* Well…quite. Anyhoo, thanks for the help but I’ll take it from here, Mister...erm…Oatmeal Geezer?
Oreoguy: It’s OREOGUY! Jeez.
CrazyQ: Thank GOD he finally left. Now let’s do this.
Teagirl: Let’s make like apple and Tango!
Insert fight sequence here. Yes, I might actually be arsed to animate a proper one this time round. This one ends with Crazy Q firing a pepsi rocket at Teagirl, but she round houses it back and it spills on his Cokerlater.
CrazyQ: OH THE IRONY! MY COKERLATER RUINED BY SPILT COKE! IT’S GONNA BLOW!
Crazy Q and Teagirl shield themselves, but the cokerlater just fizzles.
CrazyQ: Oh. I guess not.
Teagirl: Well, it looks like you’re gonna be put behind…Bar Bar Bars! HAHAHAAHAHA heheehe heaaha hm…
CrazyQ: Yeeeeeah, that would’ve been funnier back at the casino.
Teagirl: Yeah, there’s always a gap in puns between conception and delivery.

At the school

Matt: Hey look, they’ve posted the exam results.
Fearn: Strange. They usually just send you them in the post.
Matt: Yeah, but nothing really makes sense in this town. I mean, I just bought this Quarter Pounder and it doesn’t have any pickles in it. Hehe, I mean, what the heck is that all about?
Fearn: Alright, I got 96%! The nerd queen status remains!
Matt: Cool, but look at that guy who got 100%.
Fearn: Huh? Anonymous? I wonder who that guy could be.
Secret Shadow: In time, Teagirl… All will be revealed.

At the Foreverkul City Prison:
Crazy Q: Teagirl may have ruined my plans for the Cokerlater, but I have something even better. YURI!
That pic quarter downloads, but then, the cokerlater starts to malfunction again.
Crazy Q: Oh, whaddayaknow, it IS gonna blow after all.
BOOM. END.